a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
