Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
