Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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