I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's get the cat blown out
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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