I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
