He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
