it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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