what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
