She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
