its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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