I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
