I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
