Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize