So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize