we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize