I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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