I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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