Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He better not be in your backpack
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
