I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
