I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize