Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
that may or may not have been my penis.
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