Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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