Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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