I heard we made out
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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