just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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