Porn is love you can see.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
