But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
