i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you never un-have a 4some
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
