If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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