How'd it feel making her break her religion?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
