he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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