he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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