if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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