I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
