Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
