They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
