he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
