Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you had me at cake vodka
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
