dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
