at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
its not stalking. its research.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't deserve a penis
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
