the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
