sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
