He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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