Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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