You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your penis caused this!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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