I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
