Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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