Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
