Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Green mimosas i think yes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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