There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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