problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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