tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
