Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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