i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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