Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
