Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
