It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
