okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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