By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
