hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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